Stress Relief

I am a worrier, but usually not to the point where it affects me substantially. However, this past week I was faced with two separate instances that caused me significant stress- one feeling absolutely overwhelmed by life, and the other being treated egregiously by a math exam. In each case, my thoughts swelled to the negative and the sad. It's hard to not let things get us down sometimes in this roller coaster of life.

On Wednesday I was struggling to schedule out my life in such a manner that would give me some breathing room, but also let others in. I wish I could be more specific, but trust me I was stressed. I found myself daydreaming in class, trying to fix problems and salvage situations. I know I can't be alone in this thought process, because I am well aware of how stressful of an environment college life in general can be. Financials, academics, relationships, and personal self-worth can all drive us crazy in ways that not only can we not understand but we sometimes refuse to accept. As cliche as it sounds, it feels like a weight or burden on our shoulders and chest, making it harder to breathe and enjoy our surroundings. 

On Wednesday we had a workout at University Park. During the warmup my mind was still in other places, trying to separate out all the clutter. However, once the workout started my mind cleared. It wasn't that I refused to think about it, but rather that it disappeared from my head. The clouds opened up, my legs moved, my heart rate increased, and I found myself encouraging teammates instead of sulking around. The faster I ran, the better I felt. Only once I had returned to the Athletics Building (the legendary and far too old Hyslop Sports Center) did I recall my day. For the previous hour, I was de-stressed, and even when I returned I felt lighter. 

On Friday (yesterday) I had the great pleasure of finishing off my week of classes with what passes of as by far my worst math exam I've ever taken. As a math major and someone who has excelled in math class over the years, this was tough. About halfway through the exam I could feel the weight of time and the reality of struggle beginning to press down on me. When time ran out and I had to turn in my work, I was ashamed of what I had written. I imagined how the Professor would look with contempt upon what I had turned in. I could already feel judgement from classmates I barely knew and would have no vested interest in my scores. I sensed my GPA dropping, and the wind was sucked from my chest. I know this sounds too emotional, but it was a punch in the face. I staggered to the locker room for my workout, and similar to Wednesday, once I got out on the roads and started talking with teammates (S/O to Connor Danielson), my shoulders perked up and my mood lightened. The air was actually sweeter, which was good because about 45 minutes later I was sucking it in a lot harder than I anticipated! When I got back, I wasn't even worried anymore; the test was behind me, and I could only move upwards from here. 

I know that I'm not the only one to experience this. The paradox is that something physically demanding like running can actually lift our burdens and lessen our stress. This wouldn't normally make much sense, and the more I think about it and try to explain it, the less sense it makes. One thing that pops into my mind is what work is in our lives. When we have to be restless for long periods of time, do we not begin looking for things to do? It's not in our nature to be sedentary, but rather we find joy in our work. Sitting around is fun for a time, but eventually we stand up and find work to delight in. Running has become (and can become) that for many people. We shut off our minds to the troubles surrounding us and let the joy and delight of what we do overtake. For a moment, we are lifted. This reminds me of one of my favorite Bible verses: "A person can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in their own toil" -Ecclesiastes 2:24" 

This is true in so many ways. Find some kind of work that can help you when you are stressed. That way you won't drown in your sulking. 

It's probably worth mentioning that a little prayer can go a long ways too!

P.S. I'm not sure why when I copy and paste something, the background of the text turns white. I have no idea how to make it go away, so I guess it'll just have to look sloppy. I'm human I suppose.

-Nate