Nerves

The first track meet of the new year is tomorrow, so that means no morning run for me today. What do I do with this new-found time? Write up a blog post for your Friday viewing pleasure, of course.

I'd assume that if you're reading this, then you're a human being, and that immediately implies you're familiar with Harry Potter (right?). Remember during the part where Harry and Dumbledore* are going horcrux-searching and Dumbledore has to drink the special water that makes him not want to drink it? Well the story goes that Harry has to force feed it to him, because Dumbledore doesn't want to stomach it anymore. Yes, I'm going to relate this to track.

In distance running, and many sports in general, competition is designed to test your abilities. I can only speak for distance running, baseball, and swimming, and baseball games are not even close in difficulty to swim meets or distance races. As the time of a race approaches, I find myself hitting a familiar mental crossroads: I don't want to do this. I like training, I even like training hard, but racing is a-whole-nother monster. Running a distance event is basically pushing your body to its limit, and then trying to see how much farther you can get away with. Most of the race is spent by your body screaming at you, YOU IDIOT WHAT ARE YOU DOING NO STOP PLEASE YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME I TRUSTED YOU WE WERE FRIENDS YOU'RE GONNA REGRET THIS LATER and your brain screaming, YOU KNOW THIS IS UNSUSTAINABLE RIGHT drop out YOU CAN'T HOLD ON TO THIS PACE FOREVER drop out YOU CRAZY. With each passing year, it's actually something that passes through my mind more and more before a race. I feel like Dumbledore when he saw the pan of 'water', and realized what had to be done. It was going to be hard, but it needed to be finished.

So this is where nerves come in. Our bodies and minds are much more understanding than what we give them credit for. Thus, the day before or days leading up to the race, or bodies start giving us hints that amount to something like "ugh, he's going through with this again- this is NOT going to be fun", when in reality it can actually be fun. Since there's no good way to say it, for me this means that my pre-race warmup includes a 10-minute block set apart for a bathroom break. The lines of people in my race/heat who are also using the facilities at this time lead me to believe that this is a universal feeling. Errrbody has nerves.

I've tried some fairly nifty maneuvering to deceptively lie to my body about what's going to happen. I think to myself, 'I'll tuck in and be comfortable for the first part, ease into it, and do what I need to do. Simple'. My body, however, is much smarter than that and I can feel my stomach starting to fight itself the day before the meet. I know I'm not alone because I see it in teammates and competitors. One of my new favorite pastimes it to watch the freshman at their first few meets of the year. They come from all over the midwest, Canada, and even reaches of the far-away US places that I've read about in the newspaper (Washington, California, Minneapolis, etc) and yet they always have that look in their eyes leading up to the first few meets; they literally change. There's no possible way for me to accurately describe what I see, but I can at least try.

When the freshmen show up for welcome weekend and come with their parents to different meetings, often they'll tuck behind their parents while they do the talking with the coaches and captains. If the freshmen are asked questions long enough, they might loosen up a little, but there's no guarantee. Throughout the first semester, they ease into the team atmosphere and become comfortable with the school, classes, and the team. They even become so bold as to challenge me in foosball, a foolish proposal; becoming good at that game takes years of steady locker room homework procrastination practice and dedication. In October, we move in to our in-season phase of training, and this is met with excitement, and already you can feel the hunger around the locker room- that first college competition. When any of them are asked how they feel about it, they normally respond that they don't really know what to expect, which is totally understandable- Why should they? However, as we get within a week of that first meet, there is a noticeable change. Track meets are talked about more, while the upcoming one is purposely left out of the discussion. If the meet is brought up, you can see the gears grinding in their mind.

When meet day arrives, everyone hops on the bus, all masters of this drill after years of the high school that we all had to go through. Sleeping on the bus is the norm, not the exception. BUT, when we get to the facility, everything changes. I watch these freshmen, the eager-to-learn and starting from the bottom teammates of mine, change into competitors. They walk around and fidget nervously like the rest of us. They listen to music to either 'get into the zone' or 'try to not think about the meet too much' (I'm in the latter group, btw), and the nerves are there. They hear the starters' gun go off, and they know that sound. They know the sound of the pole landing in the pit and somebody being lifted from the ground. They know the sound of screaming parents in the stands. They know the sound of the announcer telling them FIRST CALL or SECOND CALL or FINAL CALL. They know the sound of abused hurdles slamming into the ground. They know the sound of the high jump bar hitting the ground on an unsuccessful attempt. They know the sound of a loud scream released by a thrower occasionally in the weight throw or shot put. It's all there. They may be freshman, but we all speak the language of track and field. The nerves are their body telling them that it's going to be hard, just like mine does- just like all of our bodies do.

I'll end with this thought: many athletes at track meets can get the 'deer in the headlights' look. I've become convinced that this means exactly one of these two options:
1.) The person is so incredibly nervous that they are about to actually die.
2.) The person is so incredibly in the zone that if some naked person came streaking across the track, they might not even notice or pay attention to the spectacle.

Well, I need to put my speed training to use and try to make it to class on time. Peace out y'all!

-Nate


*I'll refer to Dumbledore as 'Dumbledore' here, even though it's an incredible disservice to his brother who so happens to have the same last name. I'd imagine if everybody knew me as 'Peterson', things would get real confusing at any gathering of 100+ people from the upper Midwest. Guy: "Hey Peterson!" 15 different people: "What?"