1.) Hill Workout: a myth that outsiders try to convince you exists. Substitutes include: man-made sledding hills, flood dikes, parking garages, and maybe climbing the local water tower/grain elevator.
2.) Uphill: Running into the wind
.
3.) Downhill: Running with the wind.
4.) Overheating: wearing 4 layers when only 3 are needed for a winter run.
5.) Freezing: two definitions:
a. Not having enough layers on for a winter run. Side effects include (but are not limited to): frozen hands, feet, head, entire body, stopping in a gas station to warm up, or dying.
b. Having too many layers on (overheating- see no. 4), sweating through all of them, and then having all the layers freeze solid. For side effects see no. 5(a).
6.) Car: Something to be yelled when the vehicle that your group heard coming up behind you for the last 4 miles actually gets near you. This is supposed to be yelled and effectively means 'get out of the middle of the road until the car passes by'.
7.) Cottonmouth: two definitions:
a. The dry mouth you get during any kind of workout or race indoors (indoors is a season that lasts a very long time here).
b. The dry mouth you get when somebody doesn't slow down while passing you on a gravel road and you breathe in all of the dust kicked up. Side effects also include loss of eyesight or lacerations due to rocks thrown up.
8.) Technical Ascent: Running into the wind while traversing the tire ruts on a minimum maintenance road.
9.) Technical Descent: Running with the wind while traversing the tire ruts on a minimum maintenance road.
10.) Fire: When you don't wear good enough gloves on your hand during a winter run, you get back inside, and your hand begins to warm up again.
11.) Dog-Runners: the folks from town who are too lazy to walk their dogs, so they drive out of town, let their dog out, and follow in their warm vehicle.
12.) Exhaustion: looking out your window after you wake up and seeing the trees bowing over to the unrelenting wind, all while realizing you need to run.
13.) Skiing Trail: something great for skiing on the winter months, but also something great to run on during the non-winter months.
14.) Humidity: something people west of here think is fatal, while people from east of here scoff at.
15.) Outdoor Track Meet in April: synonymous with 'the weather is going to suck'.
16.) Indoor Track Meet in March: synonymous with 'the weather is going to be warm and perfect'.
17.) Running Store: something only found in Fargo and Grand Forks. Don't expect the rarest of prizes here, but if you want something good, it'll be there.
18.) Mountain: lol
19.) Laura Roesler: probably the most famous trackster from the Red River Valley. We'll forgive the fact that she went to Fargo South.
20.) Weightlifting: wearing so many winter running layers that picking your legs up becomes a workout.
21.) Gas Station: synonymous with 'bathroom'. NOTE: you have to have a shirt on to use. Trust me.
22.) Bathroom: see no. 21. If not available, alternatives include: agricultural fields, work sites with porta-potties, and public park bathrooms.
23.) Woods: the 4 or 5 trees you find along the river, if there is a river. If not, then lol.
24.) Torture: synonymous with 'treadmill' and 'elliptical'.
25.) Wildlife: seeing someone on an Elliptigo.
26.) Steeplechase: having to jump over large piles of snow at each intersection while running through town.
26.) Steeplechase: having to jump over large piles of snow at each intersection while running through town.
No comments:
Post a Comment